Skip to main content

Reflecting on Weight

I have now lost a total of 24 pounds. I am down approximately 2 pant/dress sizes. I am feeling really good! Something struck me though that most of you might think is silly but none the less was a major epiphany for me.

I am still the same person.

I have spent the good majority of my adult life hoping wishing and willing my body to be skinnier. I was sure that somehow, when I was a size 4 again, I would be a different person. I was sure that I would be more confidant, more liked, more successful. Yes, I have received many compliments (and no, I am not a size 4 yet) and that always feels good but when all is said and done and I am sitting in the privacy of my own home I realize that nothing has really changed except for the fact that I feel better about how I look. I am still an over achiever, I still take on more than I can handle, I am still overly tired, I still struggle cleaning my bathroom, and I don't have any more friends knocking down my door. Yep, I am still just me. Maybe just maybe I am a great me the way I am though.

I think we heavy people make up stories about how perfect life is for the thin people. We are sure that they have more friends, have more fun, have more confidence, have less trial, have more. Really? Why? Because we live in denial. We think that our struggles come from our weight because maybe it is easier to blame our misery on being fat. Blaming our fat is a tangible something to blame hardship on.

Don't get me wrong, there is much to be said for being thinner. My body feels good. I don't hurt going up the stairs. I have more stamina to get me through the day. I can walk the kids up to their school without getting winded. I fit in my clothes and don't dread going to the store to purchase a pair of pants. Those are definitely good things. But, I am still me. So, like or not, skinny or fat, I am what I am and that isn't going to change. Much.

Comments

Nielson said…
Congrats Becky!! And don't you think there's always something that other people have "easy?" I think it's just human nature, but it's so much happier to accept how Heavenly Father made me to be :) Thanks for sharing :)
11/16/2009 9:37 AM
The Kohler Family said…
Becky, I loved reading this post! I can so relate! And I am going to ditto what Lindsay said cause I really liked that too!
11/16/2009 10:47 AM
Dione said…
I hope you will always be you and never change! Even when you're an old woman like me! Congratulations on loosing the weight! You've been trying for this for a long time.
11/16/2009 11:21 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Broccoli Salad

My children have this thing for broccoli salad and they beg me to make it weekly. Every time I make it I become mom of the week around here which I happen to like! One would think that it might be odd for kids to love broccoli salad, and I am not necessarily thinking it is normal, but I do know it is pretty tasty. I decided for today's post to share my recipe. Beware, I am all about easy so don't expect something elaborate, and I cook for a crowd so if you want to make this adjust to your size of family. 1/2 package of broccoli florets from Costco (chopped) 1/2 red cabbage (shredded) 2 handfuls (or add to desired preference) of Craisins 2 handfuls (or add to desired preference) of real bacon bits 2 handfuls (or add to desired preference) of unsalted sunflower seeds 1/2 a bottle of Kraft Creamy Poppyseed Dressing Mix Seriously, if my kids scarf this salad down I promise most kids will.
2 comments
Read more

Loving Moments

I had one of the most tender moments as a mother the other day. Somehow, as our family was sitting around the kitchen table talking, we got on the subject of who we would like to meet when we die. We all felt like there isn't anybody famous that we would even care to meet. We then started talking about biblical people. I said I would like to meet Noah, or Captain Moroni. I was sure that I am not the only one that wants to meet them, I'm sure they will be inundated with people wanting to meet them! Then Andrew got very solemn. He got very emotional as he said he would like to meet his Heavenly Mother. He then looked at me and said, if she was more amazing and glorious than me that he couldn't even imagine how incredible meeting her would be. He cried, I cried and we hugged a gentle, loving, mom and son hug.
Post a Comment
Read more

day one.down for the count.

So in my typical fashion, I put a plan into action and then immediately have to deal with the changing of said plan. I went to bed dizzy last night hoping it was nothing and that it would pass as I slept. No such luck, this morning I got up and didn't stay up. So, three movies later I sit here on the couch with the best laid plans laid to rest. I was going to get up early, make breakfast, get dressed before 10, and send my honey off with a kiss and looks of devotion. Instead...Mark got up and I slept in, finally got up in time to stumble down the stairs, see the first set of kids off to school, and plant myself on the couch for the rest of the day. Mark gave me a kiss on his way out the door and instead of looks of devotion I had eyes welling with tears. Great day huh? Luckily I don't have any plans for today. Tomorrow isn't too bad, I don't have many responsibilities, but Friday I have an important photo shoot. This dizzy thing better go away!!!
Post a Comment
Read more