Do you know what I think is the hardest part about being a bishop's family? Being put on a pedestal of perfection. Imagine that tomorrow you were called to a leadership position. You, the same person that you were yesterday, is somehow transformed overnight into the person that people look up to in a way that they never did before. There is a level of goodness or maybe even better said, a level or refinement that bishop's families are expected to have. We are looked at as the example of what other families in the ward should do or how they should behave, and that puts a lot of pressure on a family!
I have had many occasions, in the last 7 months of serving in this new capacity as bishop's wife to stick my foot in my mouth. Anyone that knows me prior to being a bishop's wife would attest the truth that I don't always make the brightest comments. I try to have tact... ;o) Honestly, I think through what I'm going to say and it sounds perfect in my head... then, I vocalize what I thought and realize that what my outside voice said sounds way different than what it sounded like with my inside voice! Because of this I have become a lot more wary about saying what I'm thinking. This past week our ward had girl's camp. I, being one of the counselors in the YW presidency, went to camp. One of the days there, someone made a comment about a situation and I spoke up and told this person that what they were worried about didn't matter to me. Well, what I meant to say was that I was more concerned about them than myself and I wanted to make sure they were taken care of. That is not how it came out of my mouth though, instead it sounded rude and made me look a bit snippy and princess like. The last thing I want to do is offend someone or make them think I don't care about their feelings. Gulp, that was seriously awkward!
I also have a great desire to make sure people don't think I am disobedient, or give them any impression that I am someone different than I portray myself to be. Which brings me to my second thought. Perception. Have any of you blog friends ever wondered about how people perceive you? I have had a few occasions over the years to notice that what someone thought they were like was actually opposite of what their actions were saying. I do things every day that speak volumes to others about who I am and the mantra, "actions speak louder than words" is at the core of my beliefs. As example to this, I have an extremely strong work ethic. My parents are both very hard workers and raised me to be the same and because of this desire to do my best and work hard, I struggle with stopping to enjoy life. I also struggle to stop and take care of myself and worry that if I do so, people will then perceive me as being lazy. I'm still working on figuring out how to be myself without worrying about other's perceptions of who I am. I guess I'm still trying to grow up.
So, the moral of today's story? If I stick my foot in my mouth when I am speaking with you, or I do something that seems off, don't take offense. I really don't mean to make you feel bad, and I really am trying my best to not say stupid things. And, I really am not trying to tell you what to do or how to do it. You can take or leave anything I say. I'm not offended. :D
I have had many occasions, in the last 7 months of serving in this new capacity as bishop's wife to stick my foot in my mouth. Anyone that knows me prior to being a bishop's wife would attest the truth that I don't always make the brightest comments. I try to have tact... ;o) Honestly, I think through what I'm going to say and it sounds perfect in my head... then, I vocalize what I thought and realize that what my outside voice said sounds way different than what it sounded like with my inside voice! Because of this I have become a lot more wary about saying what I'm thinking. This past week our ward had girl's camp. I, being one of the counselors in the YW presidency, went to camp. One of the days there, someone made a comment about a situation and I spoke up and told this person that what they were worried about didn't matter to me. Well, what I meant to say was that I was more concerned about them than myself and I wanted to make sure they were taken care of. That is not how it came out of my mouth though, instead it sounded rude and made me look a bit snippy and princess like. The last thing I want to do is offend someone or make them think I don't care about their feelings. Gulp, that was seriously awkward!
I also have a great desire to make sure people don't think I am disobedient, or give them any impression that I am someone different than I portray myself to be. Which brings me to my second thought. Perception. Have any of you blog friends ever wondered about how people perceive you? I have had a few occasions over the years to notice that what someone thought they were like was actually opposite of what their actions were saying. I do things every day that speak volumes to others about who I am and the mantra, "actions speak louder than words" is at the core of my beliefs. As example to this, I have an extremely strong work ethic. My parents are both very hard workers and raised me to be the same and because of this desire to do my best and work hard, I struggle with stopping to enjoy life. I also struggle to stop and take care of myself and worry that if I do so, people will then perceive me as being lazy. I'm still working on figuring out how to be myself without worrying about other's perceptions of who I am. I guess I'm still trying to grow up.
So, the moral of today's story? If I stick my foot in my mouth when I am speaking with you, or I do something that seems off, don't take offense. I really don't mean to make you feel bad, and I really am trying my best to not say stupid things. And, I really am not trying to tell you what to do or how to do it. You can take or leave anything I say. I'm not offended. :D
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And by the way, I think you're great. Just the way you are. :)