I have learned something about myself this week. I have such a hard time turning down food when other people are involved in the decision. I was great when it was my birthday because it was my choice. The fallacy comes in this...I stopped thinking it was my choice when it was Mark's birthday. So, it started Thursday night when Mark wanted to go out to celebrate his birthday. He wanted to go to the Asian Buffet in American Fork. I did great on portion size but there are not good choices at that place so I am sure I went way over my points that day. I justified it by saying to myself that I had my discretionary points so I was still fine for the week. Then there was Friday. I cleansed during the day and had gorditas in the evening. As far as I can tell I was within my points that day because of the cleansing. Then Saturday came and with it a baby shower for a good friend of mine. I should have brought back up food or maybe brought food to eat before I went in to the shower. Either way I hadn't eaten in hours due to shopping for a dress for my father-in-law's wedding and so I was hungry and it was a rough afternoon with food choices in good portion size but way high in fat. So, with all of that being said I gained .8 of a pound this last week. I feel ok about it for a couple of reasons. The first is that I am learning about how to take care of myself in social situations which is a hard battle. The Second is that even in the face of struggle I still didn't completely loose it which is a good step for me. Mark gained 1 pound, but we are both back on track this week. I have a dinner out with in-laws this week and my challenge for myself is to stay within a healthy point range even though we are eating out. I have a choice and I am always in control of my eating. Nobody else can make me put something in my mouth, it is always lastly about what I decide.
I have been pretty overwhelmed lately. Actually it seems to be a recurring theme in my life that I am not very pleased about. I tend to wonder why it is that I get into situations where I feel overwhelmed. I question my ability to put my life in the right perspective. So, next week in particular is going to be beastly! My larger roles will include....teacher, preschool teacher, employee (24 hours next week), mother, maid, and cook. The problem is that I don't feel like I am excelling at any of them. For instance Zach. He needs me to be a great teacher, to give him my best and most undivided attention. Instead I am giving my all to stay awake and the rest goes to him and Jillian.
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